BEST AND WORST FLIGHT EVER…
First off, Cusco means “The Naval of the Earth” in the native tounge of the Incas, a language called qechuan. The Inca’s in my opinion were right on with this description because Cusco is on this mountain top that is in between mountains. It may sound strange but it´s true. And if you think I am joking, the second you get off the airplane, your head hurts, you feel like throwing up and you can’t see straight because of altitude sickness.
My flight from Lima to Cusco took about 5 hours. The flight was only suppose to take an hour and a half but on our first “try” we spun around Cusco three times in which air controller Cusco sent us back because the weather on this mountain prevented us to land. I was kind of freaked out because I myself was blinded by the clouds and mist.
We were sent back to Lima. Three hours after every person in that airplane fretted that our trip to Cusco and Machu Pichu would be postponed, we got the O.K. and were sent back to challenge the mountains of the Incas. It took us three attempts to make our final descent and if we did not make it on the third, we were spending a night in Lima. But the Inca Gods allowed us a chance and we took it.
To land in Cusco, the pilot must enter into the valley of the Andian mountains and follow it like a path until the pilot comes to Cusco which is upon a mountain top that forms a flat. I called this part of the trip, “Canyon Flying”. If you ever watched “Independence Day” in the part which Will Smith flew through the canyons to avoid being shot down by aliens, that is exactly what we did. And the fun part is just before you land, you come to this very narrow strip of space in between the mountains in which the pilot has to make a hard left to avoid being on the Peruvian ten o´clock news and then straighten his wings just before he lands. Let me tell you my friend, if I wanted to, I could reach out and touch the ridges of that mountain.
HOW IT FEELS TO BE SPEECHLESS…
“How was Machu Pichu?” my new friend Armand asked me a day before he was going to visit. I tried to summon words that could describe this sacred place and all I could say was “impossible”. And I’ll leave it at that.
HOW TO SMILE EVERY DAY 101, CLASS TAUGHT BY THE PEOPLE OF PERU…
I met this 9 year old girl in Cusco around the Plaza de Armas who sold finger puppets to tourist for 2 soles (about 64 cents in dollars). I asked her where her parents lived and she told me that they live in a town about two hours north. I then asked her where she stayed when she was in Cusco and she replied in Spanish with the most uplifting, brightest and warmest smile I have ever seen and said “Here and there,” pointing to the hills where the ruins of Cusco laid.
The little girl, not begging, continued to throw her sales pitch at me on why I should buy these finger puppets. I told her that I didn’t have any more money and she told me in broken English “I take Visa, Master Card and American Express also”. I couldn’t keep from smiling from this warm little person that stood about three and a half feet who would not stop smiling even though it was chilly midnight.
I ended up buying three puppets from her. If that wasn’t enough the little girl then said “Now that is done, you can buy me some chicken with rice”. I told her that I would only buy her dinner if she could learn one American phrase. She agreed and all she could say through dinner was “punk bitch” with the greatest little smile and the warmest little giggle.
EPIC, THE LEGEND, AND JUST A STORY…
Epic is a smart, savvy man who takes what he can, when he wants to, any time he wants to and you will only find out when it is all over. Epic’s greatest strength is “patience”.
The Legend will break formation when have to but will swoop in just in time to make good on his promise. Legend, formally known as “That Fucking Guy” is an apprentice of the Epic, but has his own lessons to teach to this world of young men trying to reach his status.
Just a story, the wing man extrodinare, simply “Doesn’t Give a Fuck” but will enter into dark rooms with either The Legend or Epic when needed be to make sure that the deal goes down right and that everybody makes it out safely.
FINALLY…
Matte de Coca Rocks.
Mama Africa is a shit hole but who gives a fuck.
Mama Africa offers bootleg movies for free but you have to pay 5 soles for a water.
Corn from the Sacred Valley taste like butter.
Wari was almost as amazing as Machu Pichu.
Wayu Pichu is fucking hard, which includes a dose of Altitude sickness. In the interest of advice, going around to the Temple of the Moon and trying to connect back to the main trail is slightly worth it.
The motto of Cusco: “What happens in the mountain, stays in the mountain”.
The motto of The Legend: “Tabak Naak”.
Peru, for all its splendor is full of Coke Heads.
Taxi drivers in Peru are the best tour guides.
If your stomach is not the strongest, please… PLEASE don´t eat the vegetables.
Bargaining too much with merchant’s means you are ripping them off. A couple of soles is a three course meal for a very poor family. A couple of soles to you is worth only 1 American Dollar.
For 3 Soles at El Toro you can buy a three course meal. (1 U.S. Dollar).
Lesbians get offended when you refer to Sacasyhuaman as “Sexy Woman”.
When you walk up two flights of stairs in Cusco, you feel like throwing up.
Dogs in Peru are like people, they even have there own gangs.
The Point Hostel: Crazy Bitch just looks mean, but she is a doll underneath.
IN CLOSING…
This was a mind bending trip that scared me, enthralled me and kept me at awe. It really cleared my head and gave me a new perspective on life. My boy Rafa, Epic, The Legend, Ryan and Jeanie really got my back while I was on my way and I wanna thank them.
Last but not least, Peru and its people were wonderful to me and I thank them.
Peace,
Just a story
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