Balance

I've been reading this great book that was recommended by fellow Kiwi Hippie Amal.  The name of the book is "In Search Of Captain Zero" by Allan Weisbecker.  There was this great paragraph that aligned with my thoughts and feelings at that present moment and it goes like this:

"In front of me stood the woman I loved, and all she implied; at my back the ocean, another She, and also a focus of my sensuality and deepest desires.  Two profound, implacable forces of nature vying for the nod of total commitment, mutually exclusive in their coveting of my attention".

Over the last six months or so, I have been trying to find a balance between the love of my life (Wife), my friends (Kiwis) and the other love of my life (the Ocean).  I think it's a difficult thing that all us surfers struggle with on a daily basis.  I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have children.  I know if I had children, surfing would probably have to take the back seat until my kekai's were old enough to play in the ocean and learn how to surf.  Balance I guess is hard enough in life, but when you add the love of the ocean, going down the line, hugging the lip and dropping in blindly as the offshore winds fill water in your eyes, balance becomes a high wire act. 

I talked to one of my best buds, The Duck, who is ten years younger then me and single. He struggles with it all the time.  Trying to balance dating and surfing, trying to find that one sexy lady who will allow him to surf on a daily basis, no questions asked.  I advise him to find a lady who loves the ocean and surfs.  But we agreed, finding a woman that surfs and understands how our knees buckle every time an "8 feet @ 20 seconds" type swell dances on to our shores is a one in a million thing.  And to find a woman (let alone anyone) who understands what "8 feet @ 20 seconds" means is like filling an inside straight on the river.  The odds are pretty stacked.  

The Duck and I, glad to have you back brotha.  Surfer girls, he's single. 

There is this other excerpt that I love in "Captain Zero":  "So Denise was stuck on the shadeless, foul smelling, fish crud-encrusted little vessel while the rest of us surfed.  Twenty minutes into the session I paddled back to the boat to be with her...  'No, go ride your waves,' she said when she realized why I'd cut my session short.  She turned her sweet, easy smile from me to the horizon.  'I love just being out here.'  Flies buzzed, her sweat ran in rivulets in the gathering swelter.  'And I love watching you surf".

"Perfecting the cutback" has been a thrill so far, but it had quiet the impact on my marriage.  After the first six months of this grand new adventure, that  feeling of early effervescence drifted off between us and the darling of my life wanted to make sure I was more committed to her then her sultry, wet competitor.  And to prove my love, which I was and will always do, I took a step back and recommitted more time to my wife, which in the end was the best choice. 

Give up a little and maybe get a little more?

As months rolled on, and as I continued to openly provide consistent commitment to our marriage, my wife let me surf more.  She even started coming out and watching me.  She has even inclined to go so far as to taking some great pictures and videos of my surfing, learning more about the ocean, and even critiquing my technique.  "You have to swing your arms first before you try and cut back, watch how Kelly did it at Bells back in April" she said once.  She has grown a great affinity in watching ASP contests with me as I stream them on to our T.V. screen.  She even said once before when I went out to surf 4 mile, "Let's go have lunch, too much water, give it an hour".  


My wife shot this video when I went back home.  She's become quite the talent.

To her credit, my Darling can't swim a lick but she'll get as close to the ocean as possible to get a great shot.  And she recently told me she knew what she was getting into when she said "Yes" five years ago.  I asked her on the Big Island while visiting and introducing her to my family, especially to my favorite Auntie Leo (who cooks the most ono Lau Lau).  She knew, as a Hawaiian boy, even before I knew how to surf, that she was always going to have to share me with Big Blue.  And I'm thankful.  I filled my inside straight against all odds.

My Darling trying to figure out what all the fuss is about.

Then there was January 19, 2013, the most epic of epic days to ever happen at Ocean Beach.  I like to buy my tickets refundable just in case a "can't miss swell" sneaks in.  And everything said that swell was a can't miss.  We all knew it when Mavericks was called that Thursday.  But I ignored all the pub, avoided looking at any of the buoy readings (it was very difficult) and boarded that plane to Portland on that Friday.  Did I regret missing probably the greatest swell to ever hit Ocean Beach in years?  A little.  But then again, not really,  I probably wouldn't have paddled out to be honest.  And if I mustered up the balls to do so, I'd probably be writing this blog from the grave.  So in essence, I had a great time with my wife and our Portlandia friends along with being blessed with another day to surf.  And a side note, it didn't help that the Mavericks online telecast sucked.  Just my two cents.  And it's only two cents.

I had an epic day with my buds on Saturday surfing some sweet swell at G-street.  All of my closest buds were out (except for Furball) and we all caught some pretty good waves.  We surfed so long that a few of us were able to watch the full moon fill the sky over Santa Cruz.

And on Sunday, instead of surfing like I would have usually done, I stayed home and took care of the love of my life, my sick wife who caught the flu bug.  I cooked her soup, made her tea and attended to all her needs.  She is so worth it.

Besides, it was blown out at Ocean Beach anyway ;)

Big props to all you wives and husbands of surfers.  You all have a lot of patience.  Thank you.